Voila!

Many of my social media friends are updating their profile pictures using cartoon apps such as Voila AI artist. And the pictures are so appealing... flawless complexion, no wrinkles, big eyes... but of course it got me thinking: What if we had an app to see what we will look like in glory?

In II Corinthians Paul writes that "we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image."

C. S. Lewis reminds us that believers are "everlasting splendors." 

And in II John 3:2 we read "Beloved, we are God's children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when he appears we shall be like him, because we shall see him as he is."

I can hardly wait to see those profile updates. <3 

2021

Each December I choose a focus word for the upcoming new year. 2020's word of the year was Hwaet, to remind me to look around and see what God is doing and to listen to His story as He reveals it in my life. It proved to be a good word in several ways... it was different than my norm, which sure suited 2020... and it forced me to keep looking for God's hand in what was going on.

As I worked through a few ideas this year, I kept coming back to the idea of quiet and my need for a quiet heart. Isaiah 30:15 and 32:17-18 have long been favorite verses and I feel the need for this kind of quiet in the world: 

For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel, "In returning and rest you shall be saved; in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."

and:

the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever. My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places. 

So, "quiet heart" or "un coeur tranquille" it will be.

Let Us Fall Into the Hand of God

So. Right now we are in the midst of a shutdown to try to slow the spread of Coronavirus. Everyone is scared. I was trying to figure out if I am more or less scared than I was at 9/11, and I have settled on: Less scared.

I think it is because this disease seems so directly from God's hand rather than the hand of an enemy and so lacks the same feeling of evil directed against us. I was thinking about David after he conducted the census he shouldn't have (II Samuel 24) and was given three options by the prophet:
‘Thus says the Lord, Three things I offer you. Choose one of them, that I may do it to you.’” So Gad came to David and told him, and said to him, “Shall three years of famine come to you in your land? Or will you flee three months before your foes while they pursue you? Or shall there be three days' pestilence in your land? Now consider, and decide what answer I shall return to him who sent me.”

David answers: 
“I am in great distress. Let us fall into the hand of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but let me not fall into the hand of man.”  

and I have to agree. Then you look at the numbers... 
So the Lord sent a pestilence on Israel from the morning until the appointed time. And there died of the people from Dan to Beersheba 70,000 men. 16 And when the angel stretched out his hand toward Jerusalem to destroy it, the Lord relented from the calamity and said to the angel who was working destruction among the people, “It is enough; now stay your hand.”

Wow! 70,000 in three days in a very small area geographically. Praise God for His mercy in staying the hand of destruction, and may He be pleased to do so again very soon. 

Drops

Yesterday I woke at the end of a drizzle. I looked out my window and saw the pretty raindrops on the rhododendron. And here are the places my head went:

first, my head was quoting a poem from a poster I had in junior high. I have never been able to track it down so maybe it was just poster fodder but it said Dylan:

In the early pearly morning when the sun begins to rise
and the flowers lift their faces
In a world that's less than kind
Tell me, tell me, tell me
There are still some quiet places


which leads to what is quite possibly my favorite verse:

"in returning and rest you shall be saved;
in quietness and in trust shall be your strength."
But you were unwilling. ~ Isaiah 30:15
(I quote this to myself and always add, "may I be willing.")


then come the verses a couple chapters later: 


And the effect of righteousness will be peace, 
and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.
My people will abide in a peaceful habitation
in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places. ~ Isaiah 32:17-18


and the whole cycle concluded with me reciting a song from camp growing up - I don't remember the tune but just the words - before breakfast: 

I saw raindrops on my window, Joy is like the rain.
Laughter runs across my pain, slips away and comes again. Joy is like the rain. 

I saw clouds upon a mountain, Joy is like a cloud. 
Sometimes silver, sometimes gray, always sun not far away. Joy is like a cloud. 

I saw Christ in wind and thunder, Joy is tried by storm. 
Christ asleep within my boat, whipped by wind, yet still afloat. Joy is tried by storm. 

I saw raindrops on the river, Joy is like the rain. 
Bit by bit the river grows, till all at once it overflows. Joy is like the rain. 
~ Miriam Therese Winter

Thoughts on Thanos

Something about certain movies gets my mind going in lots of directions at once. Last night we saw Avengers: Infinity War. Not sure what you saw in the film and thought about but here are some of the things that were going through my head as I watched it and have thought about it since. 

(spoiler alert, if that matters)

First. If you give a villain a name that obviously means Death (thanks, high school poetry teacher, for having us analyze "Thanatopsis") that gives fair warning to pay attention to what's going on in his view of life. 

Probably my overriding concern: Thanos's belief that he is acting in mercy by killing half the people for the benefit of the other half. That is not mercy. Mercy is being delivered from some sort of punishment or unpleasant consequence which is due. I keep thinking about the similarities between Thanos's plan for improving life on the planets he rules and our own country's abortion for the sake of convenience. Abortion is all too often viewed as some sort of mercy, too.   :(   I also keep thinking of Shakespeare's "the quality of mercy is not strained" - well, Thanos was certainly not making what he was calling mercy voluntary. 

The way Thanos destroys people - causing them to crumble and turn back to dust and be blown away - is a reversal of man being created from the dust of the earth. I found this a powerful image and like the reminder of death (momento mori). If we saw the dust of aborted children floating around, cars and helicopters crashing because they are not there, would that get us to notice the horror and death? Those scenes remind me of the part in It's a Wonderful Life where George Bailey sees what the world would have been had he never existed. 

I keep thinking about the characters who were willing to lay down their lives to stop Thanos, especially Vision and Gamora. They saw the need and were willing to do it, but those who loved them stood in their way -- and led to Thanos's apparent triumph. Jesus tells us to come and die with Him, but how common it is for loved ones try to stop us from laying down our lives for others and for the kingdom. How does this fit in with the film's talk about not trading one life for others? I think the difference comes in when someone chooses to lay down someone ELSE'S life for others, as Thanos did with Gamora -- and seems to feel he is noble to do with all the life he is extinguishing. 

I'm curious, what were you thinking as you watched and reflected on Infinity War?

verses jumbling around in my head:

It was Caiaphas who had advised the Jews that it would be expedient that one man should die for the people. ~ John 18:13

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. ~ John 15:13

For this reason the Father loves me, because I lay down my life that I may take it up again. No one takes it from me, but I lay it down of my own accord. I have authority to lay it down, and I have authority to take it up again. ~ John 10:17-18

then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground ~ Genesis 2:7

he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust... the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more ~ Psalm 103:14-16

Work X Three

One of my memory passages is I Thessalonians 1. Right off the bat in verses 2 and 3, I hope the things Paul has to say of the Thessalonian believers may be true of me as well:     

We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers,  remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.

But the part that stands out to me is the repetition of faith, hope, and love from I Corinthians 13 and how Paul puts some meat on them, moving them beyond sappy words on a greeting card and into roll-up-your-sleeves and get to work: 

the work of faith

the labor of love

the steadfastness of hope

and then, of course, how we do it... in Our Lord Jesus Christ. May I be faithful today. 

bonus... a favorite necklace I bought when I was about 15 and still enjoy wearing. I have always liked fidgeting with it and when I read these verses I pretty much feel the charms.

Take. Have. Be.

Last night Miss Dog Lover and I watched the 2015 Cinderella. If you've seen it you probably remember the oft-repeated theme quote: Have courage and be kind. We had a stormy night and the wind rumbled the phrase through my head as I slept or tossed. 

I keep thinking about the words have and be. It is along the lines of:

 “To be is to do”—Socrates.
“To do is to be”—Jean-Paul Sartre.
“Do be do be do”—Frank Sinatra.

 but 

why do we say have one and be the other? Seems it must be that the being flows from what we have. And maybe the have is a matter of reaching up and plucking what we've been given in Christ so that we can live in a manner pleasing to Him. 

I also think of the little word take. One of my favorite books, Tasha Tudor's Take Joy, derives its title from Fra Giovanni's Christmas prayer: 

I salute you! There is nothing I can give you which you have not; but there is much that, while I cannot give, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in it today. Take Heaven.
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in the present moment. Take Peace.
The gloom of the world is but a shadow; behind it, yet within our reach is joy. Take Joy!
And so, at this Christmas time, I greet you, with the prayer that for you, now and forever, the day breaks and the shadows flee away.

It is the Lord of life Who tells us to take heart:  I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. ~ John 16:33. We become more like Him when we take the things that have been given. 

No Right-of-Way

Mr Music and I are working through the Driver's Manual. I am not a great driver so this has been a good study for me. One concept has really surprised me with its applicability in many parts of life. 

When driving I always hear about who "has the right-of-way" in certain situations. But, there is no such thing, according to the manual, 

The law does not give anyone the right-of-way at intersections; it only says who must yield. Even when one driver is legally required to yield right-of-way, if he or she fails to do so, other drivers are still required to stop or yield as necessary to avoid a crash. 

Might apply in other areas of life, eh? No one has right-of-way. No one.

Ephesians 5:21 ~ Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

To Whom Shall We Go?

Last night Devastatingly Handsome took us to see Doctor Strange. It was a film that promised to suit everyone in the family, from those of us who enjoy superheroes to those who are content to see Benedict Cumberbatch. Not saying which category I may fall into. :)

This film has a crazy mix of world religions and mysticism, and there was a lot I wanted to argue with. But I was struck throughout the movie about how much of the script was either so close to Scripture or reminiscent of it and could have been reworded with direct quotes from memory work:

* The theme about Strange's arrogance and it not being all about him... we could substitute chunks of Proverbs and get there. 

* Something about his bold, insistent "I've come to bargain" reminds me of our need for a mediator.

* The Ancient One's final talk about death "Death is what gives life meaning. To know your days are numbered and your time is short" sounds straight out of Psalm 90 ~ "So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom."

I was struck most strongly by two scenes fairly early in the show, the first, I can't find the exact words but Pangborn warned Strange that there would be a cost and that it was not money. This sounded very like the admonition in Luke 14:28 to consider the cost. Just a few minutes later, when The Ancient One threw Strange out of Kamar-Taj, he sat on the stoop, knocking and begging for entrance. I was thinking of Christ's warnings about being excluded from the kingdom of heaven until Strange begged, "Please don't shut me out! I don't have anywhere else to go.." It sounded to me like he was confessing along with Peter in John 6:68 "Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life."
 

On Children and Alligators and Gorillas and Polar Bears

I spent a restless night tossing and turning, thinking about the little boy killed by the alligator at Disney this week. I think it is exactly the fact that his dad fought with the alligator that gets my attention. 

I remember some years back when my young son with reactive attachment disorder was in intensive family therapy I read about an Alaskan mom whose child was attacked by a polar bear. She fought it off so savagely it left the child alone. I told my son this story because I felt I would gladly be that mom if it would help him to understand that I loved him.

But there has been no real healing in my son's life. And I feel that I have fought that alligator fiercely, and have seen my child deliberately hurl himself into the pit with the gorilla, over and over, his whole life. So I identify with these parents. 

There are some alligators you cannot stop. There are some children who cannot be stopped from throwing themselves into danger. I am glad to know the One who does rescue from the dragon and bring up from the pit. I pray He will be merciful to these families, to my son, and to other children like him.

Confessional Priorities

I have been thinking about the old discussion about being vs doing, and am starting to see a connection with catechisms I've been taught over the years. I'm grateful for how these lessons have influenced both what I do and who I am.

First on what seems like the doing end: when I first joined a church at age 12, the United Presbyterian, back in *ahem* the early seventies, we were instructed for a year and memorized a series of questions and answers starting with: 
Q:  What is the most important thing in life?
A: The most important thing in life is to know God and to glorify Him forever.
I liked the neat and tidy answers to the big questions of life.

A few years later, I was involved as a charter member in starting a PCA congregation, and have since belonged to OPC and now RP. They all use the Westminster Catechisms and as I was being taught this in high school, I could see that what we had learned before was basically a modern version of the same thing, following the same ideas in the same sequence but worded differently. This one starts with:
Q: What is the chief end of man?
A: Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. (Or, John Piper likes to change the last phrase to "by enjoying Him forever.")

And I still like this answer to the question of what man's purpose is, what we are here for. 

But. On to the being end:  we have bumped into the Heidelberg Catechism here and there; when we used to subscribe to the CRC's magazine, in reading books about Dutch art history, sometimes in biographies. And I have to say that where my mind likes the WSC's series of questions and answers, my heart soars with the Heidelberg's. Here is the first from this catechism, which speaks more personally to the heart:
Q: What is thy only comfort in life and death?
A: That I with body and soul, both in life and death, am not my own, but belong unto my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ; who, with His precious blood, has fully satisfied for all my sins, and delivered me from all the power of the devil; and so preserves me that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; yea, that all things must be subservient to my salvation, and therefore, by His Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life, and makes me sincerely willing and ready, henceforth, to live unto him. 

What are the thoughts that help you understand who you are here to be and what you are here to do?

Threads

Today's three mile solitary walk at the park today gave my mind time to ramble and try to get hold of several different threads which are twisting together into a sort of rope in my head.

The first dry leaves have fallen (why is that the only place we use the word /sere/?  Does /serious/ come from the same root of dried-outness? If so, no wonder people try not to be too serious. Who wants to have all the life dried out of them? ah well, the dictionary says no, different roots.)

So. It has been raining but stopped this morning and the top layer of leaves was dry enough to rustle when you kick through them. I got to thinking about my favorite sounds of fall. I often think of my favorite summer sounds but realized I don't have a mental list for fall. The sound of rustling leaves is surely on it, and the sound of acorns falling on a sunlight, and not sure what else. I will work on it.

As I kicked through the leaves I started thinking about two women who have died in the past week, two women who were important to me in my teen years. How can they be dead? It almost seems that if they were dead, the gift they were to me would be gone ~ and yet ~ I hold those gifts in my heart. 

First, Mrs Smith (now Mrs Dombart, but I think Mrs Smith because that was her name when she taught my high school English) died. I have not seen her since a year or two after high school but just loved her class and even  more than that, loved her. She had beautiful kind eyes and was patient with the slowest students in class, the ones who never knew a figure of speech and didn't get the allusions the rest of us were talking about. She helped me learn to love words and to know that it is a good thing to love words. She taught us that it was good to look at the beauty of a phrase and take joy in it. She helped me figure out how to quote a French passage in a paper written in English and gave me an undated hallpass to go "wherever (my) little heart desires." That image has served me well in life.

Then just a couple days later Marsha, who ~ along with her friend Shirley ~ led my youth group, died. I have only seen her now and then since high school, but what an encouragement she has been, even across generations. She encouraged my faith as I grew up. She went on all the retreats and talked us through things and played dumb games with us and listened to our teen problems. She made sure I had money in college for a typewriter. She encouraged me as we raised two kids with significant special needs, looked at my kids' photos when my Mum showed them off, and loved on them. She supported Hannah in her venture in China and let me know how proud she was of my family. My Mum taught a water aerobics class at the Y straight through her 70s and Marsh was one of her cheerleaders. And now Marsha rests with Christ.

As I was thinking, I saw a little snake on the path who did not move as I came near, kicking the leaves.  I realized it must be dead and used a stick to move it off the path because, well, it just seemed respectful. 

I suppose some runner must have crushed its head underfoot. I thought of One Who has "bruised the head" of the serpent, sharing in flesh that "through death He might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery." I am so glad the power of death is gone.

All I Want

This week we took Miss Dog Lover to see the Cinderella movie. There was a Frozen short feature shown first, where Elsa is preparing for Anna's birthday. Elsa obviously loves Pinterest - she had all the amazing things - ice sculptures, fruit, flowers, matching tableware and furnishings, a beautiful cake. And she says, as if it is a reasonable desire, "I just want everything to be perfect."

As if that is a Just. Which it is not, in a fallen world.

It made me think of this New Yorker cartoon, which we had hanging on our fridge for several years: 

And me? I'm trying to learn the secret of being content.

Flutterings

In the dark and in the quiet when I am not asleep but wish I were, thoughts flutter and pile up like leaves around an autumn tree. This week I had such a night. A friend, well, someone we barely knew but a brother in Christ, so I shall call him an unknown brother, died.  And the unknown brothers around the world are dying for the sake of Christ and His bride, and my dear friend’s battle with leukemia is long and heavy. So sometimes I wake with heart pounding and muscles tight but nowhere to flee except to Jesus, the lover of my soul. And where else would I want to go, anyhow? Because with Peter, I know that no one else has the words of life.

That night I actually woke up with Blue October’s Calling You playing in my head, and a kind of application to my relationship with Christ running in a parallel track, for those of you who remember 8-Track players. :)

There’s something that I can’t quite explain

I’m so in love with you {He first loved us}

You’ll never take that away

And if I’ve said it a hundred times before

Expect a thousand more

You’ll never take that away {no one will snatch (me) out of (His) hand. ~ John 10}

Well expect me to be

Calling you to see {well of course God is always around but sometimes at night it seems like He  calls to check on me and to help me remember that I love Him}

If you’re OK when I’m not around                        

Asking “if you love me” {remind you of Christ to Peter much?}

I love the way you make it sound

Calling you to see

Do I try too hard to make you smile?

To make us smile {my favorite benediction, God smiles on His children: The LORD bless you   and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you: the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace ~ Numbers 6}                                                                                          

                                                                    

I will keep calling you to see {The Spirit is with us at all times and intercedes before God’s throne}

If you’re sleeping, are you dreaming                          

If you’re dreaming, are you dreaming of me

I can’t believe you actually picked me {‘nuff said!}

I thought that the world had lost its sway

It’s so hard sometimes {The world without hope in Christ is empty and without value}

Then I fell in love with you

Then came you

And you took that away {!}

It’s not so difficult

The world is not so difficult

You take away the old

Show me the new { put off your old self... and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness ~ Eph 4}

And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you

So while I’m on this phone

A hundred miles from home

I’ll take the words you gave and send them back to you. {praying Scripture}

~

And after phrases from this song fluttering through my head on one side of the leaves falling and on the other my thoughts of God, and remembrances of His toward me, I found myself instead thinking through the hymn, Jesus Lover of My Soul:

Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,

While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.

Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;

Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.

Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;

Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.

All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;

Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.

Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?

Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care;

Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,

Hoping against hope I stand, dying, and behold, I live.

Thou, O Christ, art all I want, more than all in Thee I find;

Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.

Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;

False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.

Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;

Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.

Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;

Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.

~

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. ~ Psalm 94. Even during dark and quiet nights.

Thanks to Pete Townshend

One of my very favorite hymns that isn't a hymn is The Who's "Bargain." I think this song expresses much of what it is like to follow Christ, because being in love with Him is such a part of that... the words of the song remind me of many bits of Scripture and so I often find myself humming it... 

I'd gladly lose me to find you 

(Jeremiah 29:13 - you will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart)       

I'd gladly give up all I had

To find you I'd suffer anything and be glad

I'd pay any price just to get you

(Matthew 13:45-46 - the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value went and sold all that he had and bought it.

I'd work all my life and I will

To win you I'd stand naked, stoned and stabbed

(Hebrews 11:37-38 - they were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword -- of whom the world was not worthy) 

I'd call that a bargain

The best I ever had

The best I ever had

I'd gladly lose me to find you

I'd gladly give up all I got

(Luke 5:11 - they left everything and followed Him)

To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you

Surrender my good life for bad

(Romans 8:5 - those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit)

To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain

(Song of Solomon 8:7 - if a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised)

The best I ever had

The best I ever had

I sit looking 'round

I look at my face in the mirror

I know I'm worth nothing without you

(I Corinthians 13:12 - now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known) 

And like one and one don't make two

One and one make one

(John 17:23 - I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one)

And I'm looking for that free ride to me

(Romans 6:22 - now that you have been set free from sin)

I'm looking for you

I'd gladly lose me to find you

I'd gladly give up all I got

To catch you I'm gonna run and never stop

I'd pay any price just to win you

Surrender my good life for bad

To find you I'm gonna drown an unsung man

I'd call that a bargain

The best I ever had

(II Corinthians 4:17 - this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond ALL comparison)

The best I ever had

___

apologies for wonky formatting

Eve, Persephone, and Thanksgiving

Today my usual pomegranate-seeder is on her way to Valparaiso for Thanksgiving so I got this messy but beautiful task myself. (Valparaiso, that's fun to say!)  I have always loved seeing the beautiful arils when you open the plain fruit, they sparkle like cut jewels hidden away inside. 

I have a theory that the pomegranate is the fruit offered to Eve in the garden. I would have taken it, myself. That would also explain how the Persephone story got its start. 

Why do we have pomegranate at Thanksgiving? We cut a pineapple in quarters and then chunk each quarter and replace the pieces in the shell, and set three of them out on a platter. Then we sprinkle with pomegranate seeds. I did this one year because I thought it would be pretty, and my brother announced, "Look, the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria... and some of the pilgrims have been swept overboard." And thus a tradition was born.

* * * * * 

I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the LORD, the God of Israel, who call you by your name. ~ Isaiah 45:3