C O F F E E

Our sixth grade songbook had a little ditty in it I liked (which I suspect had some stealth lesson I missed about scales), called Coffee. The lyrics were: 
C O F F E E
Coffee is no-ot fo-or me
It's a drink some people wa-ake u-up with
That it makes them nervous i-is no-o myth
Slaves to a coffee cup
They can't give coffee up.

Or maybe it was a lesson on slurs and staccato notes? 

Whatever. The point here is that I took the lesson to heart, and have never become a coffee drinker. And everywhere I go on the internet, I see references to caffeine being essential for academic success. e.g.:

I have begun to think it must have been a nearly miraculous occurrence for me to complete my education without coffee... some day, my stories to my grandchildren on my knee will start, not, "I walked two miles in the snow to school" but "I made it through college without even a sip of coffee. And that was back before power drinks had even been invented." 

Oh, the cleverness of me!