Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Threads

Today's three mile solitary walk at the park today gave my mind time to ramble and try to get hold of several different threads which are twisting together into a sort of rope in my head.

The first dry leaves have fallen (why is that the only place we use the word /sere/?  Does /serious/ come from the same root of dried-outness? If so, no wonder people try not to be too serious. Who wants to have all the life dried out of them? ah well, the dictionary says no, different roots.)

So. It has been raining but stopped this morning and the top layer of leaves was dry enough to rustle when you kick through them. I got to thinking about my favorite sounds of fall. I often think of my favorite summer sounds but realized I don't have a mental list for fall. The sound of rustling leaves is surely on it, and the sound of acorns falling on a sunlight, and not sure what else. I will work on it.

As I kicked through the leaves I started thinking about two women who have died in the past week, two women who were important to me in my teen years. How can they be dead? It almost seems that if they were dead, the gift they were to me would be gone ~ and yet ~ I hold those gifts in my heart. 

First, Mrs Smith (now Mrs Dombart, but I think Mrs Smith because that was her name when she taught my high school English) died. I have not seen her since a year or two after high school but just loved her class and even  more than that, loved her. She had beautiful kind eyes and was patient with the slowest students in class, the ones who never knew a figure of speech and didn't get the allusions the rest of us were talking about. She helped me learn to love words and to know that it is a good thing to love words. She taught us that it was good to look at the beauty of a phrase and take joy in it. She helped me figure out how to quote a French passage in a paper written in English and gave me an undated hallpass to go "wherever (my) little heart desires." That image has served me well in life.

Then just a couple days later Marsha, who ~ along with her friend Shirley ~ led my youth group, died. I have only seen her now and then since high school, but what an encouragement she has been, even across generations. She encouraged my faith as I grew up. She went on all the retreats and talked us through things and played dumb games with us and listened to our teen problems. She made sure I had money in college for a typewriter. She encouraged me as we raised two kids with significant special needs, looked at my kids' photos when my Mum showed them off, and loved on them. She supported Hannah in her venture in China and let me know how proud she was of my family. My Mum taught a water aerobics class at the Y straight through her 70s and Marsh was one of her cheerleaders. And now Marsha rests with Christ.

As I was thinking, I saw a little snake on the path who did not move as I came near, kicking the leaves.  I realized it must be dead and used a stick to move it off the path because, well, it just seemed respectful. 

I suppose some runner must have crushed its head underfoot. I thought of One Who has "bruised the head" of the serpent, sharing in flesh that "through death He might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery." I am so glad the power of death is gone.

Friday, July 3, 2015

All I Want

This week we took Miss Dog Lover to see the Cinderella movie. There was a Frozen short feature shown first, where Elsa is preparing for Anna's birthday. Elsa obviously loves Pinterest - she had all the amazing things - ice sculptures, fruit, flowers, matching tableware and furnishings, a beautiful cake. And she says, as if it is a reasonable desire, "I just want everything to be perfect."

As if that is a Just. Which it is not, in a fallen world.

It made me think of this New Yorker cartoon, which we had hanging on our fridge for several years: 
And me? I'm trying to learn the secret of being content.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Knock Me Over with a Feather

Longtime readers of my blogs probably know that as a part of Miss Dog Lover's (dis)ability she does not like idioms. As in Does Not Like them.

Years ago I posted on a blog (now seemingly lost in cyberspace) about her hatred of standard idioms but the irony of her creating a few of her own... she used to announce some people were "dumb as a bug" or "stubborn as a pickle on a leaf." There was also one about turkeys in soup, though I am hardpressed to remember what that related to. (Miss Language? Do you recall?)

A favorite story is Miss Dog Lover having a developmental evaluation done with a new doc. He started asking her, "If I were to say to you, what does it mean to be tickled pink..." and she stopped him, saying, "No. This is about idioms, right? I don't do idioms." The doc looked surprised but checked a box on his form and moved on to the next item.

Anyhow.

We have a new development in idiomland. We added a small kitty to our household and Miss Dog Lover has an allergy history with them. Well, although kitty is outside, Miss Dog Lover has been loving on her just as if she were a dog and the result is that Miss DL is now on a hefty course of steroids and we are seeing if she can control her loving on or if kitty will have to go. But the steroids seem to have an activating effect on some language center. The first night sleep was elusive so we added benedryl. The next morning Miss DL reported she had "slept like a baby." I was flabbergasted that she used an idiom and she laughed and told me that she was just "on cloud nine" because of a good night's rest. 

Amazing.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Qs and Os

Ahh, summer. Today we had company and I wanted simple and summer. We included my Mum's famous Q and O salad which I have always loved: cucumbers, onions, white vinegar and water, a little bit of sugar and some dill weed and then let it all marinate. Yum. 

The fun story on this is that when my brother was very young, he told Mum not to worry, he had already planted the garden. She asked what he planted. He couldn't remember the name, but it started with a Q. Naturally Mum went through all the Q things she could think of before asking him where he had gotten the seeds, anyhow, and when he said, "from our salad," she realized he had planted cucumber seeds. Pretty sure they didn't grow. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Some School Years are Like That

By my count I am finishing twenty years of homeschooling. This gives me some sort of perspective point (though I am not sure how meaningful it is). 

At the beginning of the year I bought a pack of sticky stars to mark our schooldays on the calendar. Sticky stars have motivated me ever since I was in first grade so I thought how cheerful a calendar full of stars would look. 

This is how school looks at the beginning of the year, all shiny and perfect, with everything in a row.



And now last week I looked at the sheet of stars being used. It turned out the pack that was so shiny and perfect was NOT. The machine had only cut around 3 points of them and so points tear off when you try to get them off the sheet. I am too cheap to buy a new pack when I have several hundred still unused and too obsessive to put torn stars on my calendar, so using them proved to be something of challenge. Which is so often just how the whole of life goes.

This is how school looks at the end of a year. 



And after twenty years, what I know is, that's OK.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Firsts and Lasts

Tonight while I was doing the dishes a moth was beating against the window, trying to get into the kitchen. I realized it is the first moth I've seen this season and started to wonder when I saw the last one in the fall.

But that is a crazy thing. Almost always, you only know something is the last in hindsight. That last moth of fall did not flash its wings to show me their delicacy in any special way that caught my attention so that I noticed they really are rather pretty despite not being as splashy as butterflies. I did not even look twice and have no memory of the last one I saw. Today I realize that was a loss.

I suppose if you KNOW something is the last it is a sad or bittersweet feeling. But there is one last I think I wish I knew when it would come.... I always think it would be a happy thing to know that a visit to the dentist was the last one I would have to make. Perhaps I would be sad about even that, though. It is a wonderful world God has given us.


Friday, March 20, 2015

Flutterings

In the dark and in the quiet when I am not asleep but wish I were, thoughts flutter and pile up like leaves around an autumn tree. This week I had such a night. A friend, well, someone we barely knew but a brother in Christ, so I shall call him an unknown brother, died.  And the unknown brothers around the world are dying for the sake of Christ and His bride, and my dear friend’s battle with leukemia is long and heavy. So sometimes I wake with heart pounding and muscles tight but nowhere to flee except to Jesus, the lover of my soul. And where else would I want to go, anyhow? Because with Peter, I know that no one else has the words of life.


That night I actually woke up with Blue October’s Calling You playing in my head, and a kind of application to my relationship with Christ running in a parallel track, for those of you who remember 8-Track players. :)


There’s something that I can’t quite explain
I’m so in love with you {He first loved us}
You’ll never take that away
And if I’ve said it a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
You’ll never take that away {no one will snatch (me) out of (His) hand. ~ John 10}


Well expect me to be
Calling you to see {well of course God is always around but sometimes at night it seems like He  calls to check on me and to help me remember that I love Him}
If you’re OK when I’m not around                        
Asking “if you love me” {remind you of Christ to Peter much?}
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
To make us smile {my favorite benediction, God smiles on His children: The LORD bless you   and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you: the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace ~ Numbers 6}                                                                                          
                                                                    
I will keep calling you to see {The Spirit is with us at all times and intercedes before God’s throne}
If you’re sleeping, are you dreaming                          
If you’re dreaming, are you dreaming of me
I can’t believe you actually picked me {‘nuff said!}


I thought that the world had lost its sway
It’s so hard sometimes {The world without hope in Christ is empty and without value}
Then I fell in love with you
Then came you
And you took that away {!}
It’s not so difficult
The world is not so difficult
You take away the old
Show me the new { put off your old self... and be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness ~ Eph 4}
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you
So while I’m on this phone
A hundred miles from home
I’ll take the words you gave and send them back to you. {praying Scripture}

~


And after phrases from this song fluttering through my head on one side of the leaves falling and on the other my thoughts of God, and remembrances of His toward me, I found myself instead thinking through the hymn, Jesus Lover of My Soul:


Jesus, lover of my soul, let me to Thy bosom fly,
While the nearer waters roll, while the tempest still is high.
Hide me, O my Savior, hide, till the storm of life is past;
Safe into the haven guide; O receive my soul at last.


Other refuge have I none, hangs my helpless soul on Thee;
Leave, ah! leave me not alone, still support and comfort me.
All my trust on Thee is stayed, all my help from Thee I bring;
Cover my defenseless head with the shadow of Thy wing.


Wilt Thou not regard my call? Wilt Thou not accept my prayer?
Lo! I sink, I faint, I fall—Lo! on Thee I cast my care;
Reach me out Thy gracious hand! While I of Thy strength receive,
Hoping against hope I stand, dying, and behold, I live.


Thou, O Christ, art all I want, more than all in Thee I find;
Raise the fallen, cheer the faint, heal the sick, and lead the blind.
Just and holy is Thy Name, I am all unrighteousness;
False and full of sin I am; Thou art full of truth and grace.


Plenteous grace with Thee is found, grace to cover all my sin;
Let the healing streams abound; make and keep me pure within.
Thou of life the fountain art, freely let me take of Thee;
Spring Thou up within my heart; rise to all eternity.

~

When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. ~ Psalm 94. Even during dark and quiet nights.